So many things run through my mind when I am given the time to sit by myself, stuck again with my thoughts, and usually I don’t know what exactly I can do to entertain them. Should I dwell on the strange thoughts that come into my head, the ones that show me stories to write, stories I have written, things I should edit? Or should I try to focus on something that, to outsiders, would be more important? I, as should be clear, almost always dwell on my stories. There isn’t a moment in the day that I’m not at least partially focused on something to write. A classmate of mine told me I have “graphomania,” an obsessive impulse to write, and I agree. I have over ten notebooks scattered across my house that all have different stories started in them. I can’t stop buying more, because I always think of new stories.
Anything sets me off. I don’t get my stories from dreams, which is something I might be a tiny bit jaded about. My dreams? What could possibly go through my sleep mind? The same mind that obsesses about school shootings, vampires, serial killers, and death? Work. School. Everything that is normal in my life. It seems almost like, when compared to my day dreaming mind, I get worn out of certain thoughts. I want to find something that will cause more vivid and strange dreams. Think of the possibilities! I’m bound by my own set of morals and limitations, I can only think so far, but when asleep, the mind can create such fantastical worlds and characters! Maybe I will begin having dreams that will excite me when my life doesn’t revolve around schoolwork and retail work. I have at least another year to wait until I that will happen, however.
How do I get my story ideas, though? Clearly, as just said, not via dream world. Damn. No, I watch a large amount of television and movies, and read so many books, that are mysteries, that include story lines that absolutely fascinate me. I approach situations like this in a different way from many people I know. I go in almost always knowing who did what, and why. Yet, I’m not always right, and generally, when I am actually wrong, I enjoy those stories a great deal more. I enjoy being tricked when I’m reading/watching something. Without that trickery, there isn’t the guessing game and the intrigue. I take the storylines that I see and put my own twist to them. I wonder what would happen to those characters if their friend had really died in that car accident, if their parents hadn’t gotten a divorce when the character was a young child, anything. How could I make this story my own?
Daydreams are have a huge contribution to my story writing, along with just paying attention to things people tell me. I react to things in a strange way (as long as no one I personally know is, in any way, involved; keep this in mind). Here is an example: a friend came up to me not to long ago and told me a story. Their coworker’s friend had gotten a phone call from their ex, the ex said a lot “I’m sorry. I miss you. I’m back in town.” Anything that was possible to show that this person wasn’t in a good state of mind. And then they said the one thing that caught my attention. “I’m so tired.” And a sound like a gunshot. I don’t know what happened with this individual, if the noise was just a general misunderstanding or not, but it really interested me. I haven’t made a story based on it yet, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been simmering on the back burner for awhile.
“I’m so tired.” What a wonderfully dark phrase that is all on its own. It could mean so many different things, from true general sleepiness all the way to severe depression. I can’t even begin to express how many different story ideas I thought of when I heard that story. I acted sad (and, in a way, I felt for the person who had heard their ex say this), but really, I couldn’t feel the correct amount of empathy. I can’t. This isn’t to say that, if you were to tell me a story, I will just smile and start writing. I know what I’m supposed to feel, and I try to. But I honestly cannot pull up the emotions that convey empathy, sadness, etc. towards stories that are deliciously twisted (another phrase I am very fond of). I do feel a great amount of happiness towards strangers (watching reality television has done nothing but prove that to me), and I feel embarrassed for characters, but not sadness/anger.
I want to add some short stories to this blog, but I need your help. Is there anything you’ve ever want to see written into a story? A character that you have created, but you don’t like/don’t feel like you can write? Anything? I have a large list of things already, but I haven’t touched on them in so long that I am afraid to touch them again. The characters guide my stories, and I’ve ignored them. Help me out?
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B.K.
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